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For years and years I have kept a journal. I recall one of my English teachers telling our class that if we kept a journal, some day we could look back and see how far we had come.
That concept, in part, was why I started DipityRoad. One recurring theme through all the years of keeping my journal has been my constant yearning to “become a better me”.
A couple of weeks ago I finished reading Geneen Roth’s Women Food and God. I took one entire rainy day and stayed in and read and cried and became inspired. Then Oprah had Geneen on her show yesterday. This woman had me spot on. The women on their video journals could have been me.
Day after day, while I put on a smile and greet most with a positive me, I realized I have been a fraud for most of my life. The voice inside my brain tells me daily that I am ugly, not good enough and certainly don’t deserve to be loved.
I have tried more ways (reading every parenting book or marriage rescue guides to tons of self help) to become a better me– it wasn’t until I read Geneen’s book did I realize that for the most part I have been trying to not face or feel my pain. I am the head Ostrich — putting my head in the sand thinking that if I don’t look at the pain it will go away. So goes my relationship with food.
Like spring and the flowers that follow many of us share the same belief… We want to become what we were born to be; to bloom and grow and inspire.
I have got to stop my daily mantras in my head — I have to face my pain.
Never before has my favorite quote been more profound than right now.
“When you change the way you look at things– the things you look at change.”
I intend to be that change!
Like the lyrics of Defying Gravity— I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game.
If we think for one moment its about the food — we are wrong. (but then like one of the titles in her book says… Its Not not about the food)
Whether you have any issues with food, depression, alcohol, drugs; this book hits right at the core. It all stems from how we view ourselves and whether we think we deserve love and kindness.
Have you read her book? I would love to hear your feelings.
Join with me as I work on my pain and find the love, kindness and beauty we all deserve.
By the Way here are her food guidelines.
Eat when you are hungry.
Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.
Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music.
Eat what your body wants.
Eat until you are satisfied.
Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.
Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.
Join in with us on Friday~~ Finding Beauty (Please be sure to link this post to yours — other wise I will have to pull it– I would hate to do that! 🙂
On Monday join Mary at Little Red House — every one participating there is sooo good. Check them out!
We have a new link operator — it will be really fun an colorful– let me know what you think of it!
Please be sure and comment after you link!
TTFN~~ Claudia ♥ ♥